this, that, and the other thing....

I haven't posted for awhile....time for some updates.

I heard one of those whispers yesterday- ok let's call it more of a shout - count your blessings Cari.  You never know what can happen or when your world will be turned upside down.  We found out that Casey's best friend Bret's brother Vance (and his entire family) were involved in a very serious car accident Monday evening.  A car came out of nowhere from a side street and hit their van, causing it to roll 4 times and hit a tree.  Vance and Kim were thrown from the vehicle.  Through God's grace, the kids  all walked away with minor injuries.  As I write this what I know is that Kim has multiple breaks and fractures.  She is in an immense amount of pain and is in the ICU.  Vance had been monitored for cerebral pressures. He is now breathing on his own.  He is in the neuro ICU. They are making miraculous strides. Even though I do not know this family personally, I am deeply affected by what happened to them.  All it took was an instant for everything to change.  They have set up a caring bridge site (yeah, wasn't easy logging onto caring bridge yesterday---but that is another story!) if you would like to follow their story and add your prayers for their healing:  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kimvancecramer


Ayurveda update ~
I just had an appointment with Jamie last night and I'm proud to report that things are going very well.    Of the symptoms we're tracking, all are improving.  It's amazing to me how small adjustments can make such a huge impact on my health.  Don't get me wrong, it's a work in progress.  I'm by no means  at 100% yet, but I'm moving in the right direction. It feels good to be doing something positive for my health.  Best part is, I feel great!  A big shout out to all of my friends who are also making great strides in their healthy living goals.  You are all rock stars!

What's on the horizon~
Well...I am contemplating taking a writing class. I've always had an interest in writing children's books.  I've also spent an extensive amount of time over the years interviewing my grandma as I thought a memoir of her life would be a cool idea.  I need to find a way to focus on that creative side.  It's that or looking for a guitar player to start a duo.  hmmmmm.  Suggestions are welcomed :)

I guess that's it for now.  Just trying to wind down after a wild and crazy summer.  Looking forward to being less busy and being able to spend more time at home.  Hope everyone is well!

Life is Good

I'm in a really happy place today ~ a good day to write an update. 

Let me start this out by saying that I count my blessings every single day.  I have a husband who loves me unconditionally.  I have the best mom in the world.  I have my health. I have a good job.  I have a roof over my head. 

I also have the best friends that a girl could ask for.  I never, EVER take this for granted.  I am grateful to God for surrounding me with such amazing people. Whether I see you all the time or just occasionally, please know that I think of you often. Each and every one of you brings something into my life.  I hope that I bring something into yours as well. 

Casey is (finally) happy at his job.  Sure, it has it's share of obstacles just like any other job.  At least he has a passion for what he is doing.  He loves to cook!  Ideally he would like to be back in the construction industry.  As much as he enjoys working in a kitchen, there is no money to be had. 

My Dad met with a psychiatrist at the end of June and it was determined that he does not have dementia.  Memory loss with his Parkinson's is a normal symptom of the disease, but it's not dementia.  They have him on a medication that really seems to be helping him.  Now maybe he and his fiance will be able to move on with their plan to get married! 

For the first time in a long time I feel like I'm in control.  Now I know a lot of you are probably snickering at that because I'm a self proclaimed control freak.  It's a different kind of control.  I finally feel like I am in control of myself. 

This year has been all about reinvention and self discovery.  I highly suggest it. Some very small adjustments can be life changing. 

I continue on my ayurvedic path.  In 6 weeks I have experienced major health improvements.  I couldn't be happier about it. 

One of the best discoveries has been as simple as accepting that I can put myself first and just BE.  Along with that is the discovery that if someone has a problem with that, it's THEIR problem.  I have been a people pleaser all of my life.  I wanted people to like me, to accept me.  I was so busy trying to be there for other people that I lost myself.  That's not to say that I'm not there for my family and friends anymore - but it's different.  I have learned how to say no. I can walk away from things that I don't want to do/don't have the time to do.  Bottom line is I am who I am......take me or leave me.  It's taken a long time, but I can honestly say that I'm happy in my own skin.

One month in ~ ayurveda update

Thanks for following along on my ayurvedic journey.  I'll tell you what ~after just a month I have already experienced positive results from making very slight changes and taking my daily herbs.  The whole thing is very fascinating to me.  It blows my mind that by making very small changes, some of my "symptoms" have dramatically improved in such a short time.

My last appointment with Jamie was a follow up where we compared the information I originally provided to her with how I felt at that time.  Of the 13 "symptoms" we are tracking, 8 of them showed improvement.  After taking my ayurvedic pulse, Jamie noted that my vatta dosha had decreased. Not bad!

The symptom that has most notably improved in my opinion is my chronic problem with sinus congestion. Yeah, it's pretty much non existent now. I honestly cannot remember the last time I didn't feel pressure/have difficulty breathing. Seemed like I was always "stuffy". It sounds odd, but being able to take a deep breath in (using both nostrils) feels amazing.  For those of you chronic sufferers, you know what I'm talking about.  I will also point out that typically on a day like today (high humidity), I would normally have a terrible headache.  Nope, nothing, nada.  I'm a happy girl.

I'm more conscious of what I'm eating and stopping (most of the time) way before I'm "full".  It's not perfect - probably never will be - but I'm moving in the right direction.

For those of you who have been reading since I started this blog you know that one of my obstacles has always been getting enough water in each day.  Now I easily drink 6-8 cups without much effort.  In my world, that is huge!  I have discovered unique ways to make water more exciting.  Y'all know about the lemon wedges.  Have you ever tried a slice of cucumber? Sounds odd, but it's very refreshing.  The other thing I have been doing is throwing a tea bag into a cold glass of water.  My favorite is celestial seasonings raspberry zinger.  Yum!  No calories, no artificial sweeteners, all natural ingredients and just enough to make water a bit more interesting.  My "craving" for soda is pretty much gone.  I am not completely off of it yet, but close.

Another big change is that I've started meditating.  The first couple of times I did it I felt goofy doing it. But now I look forward to it.  It's a phenomenal feeling to quiet the noise inside of your head.  It's very refreshing.  I highly recommend it!

Just like with anything else, there are always going to be obstacles. I'm having a tough time with 2 of the things that Jamie added to my program at the follow up visit.  Eating outside of the office and taking a small walk at lunch time. I'm working on it!

All in all I'm very pleased with the results I've experienced so far.  The journey is truly about self discovery.  Sometimes I like what I discover and sometimes not so much.  The hardest thing is coming to grips with the fact that everything is not going to change overnight.  Yes, once again I am reminded I need to work on being patient.

I will be meeting with Jamie later this week. I will post results soon!

Ayurveda - here we go!

As some of you may have read about on my Facebook page, I am embarking on a new journey. Yes, ANOTHER thing to add to my "year of reinvention"! This journey involves working with an ayurvedic practitioner (and since that is just to flippin' much to type, from here on out it's simply "Jamie"). I have talked to some of you about this and there was some interest in me sharing some discoveries along the way.  My hope is that by me sharing my journey, it may just help one of you with some self discovery.

Jamie recently completed her ayurvedic training.  Part of the program is that she needs to complete an "internship" with 10 students before she graduates.  I am one of the chosen ones (ha!).  My initial fee includes 4 sessions with Jamie.  Any herbs that I  want along the way or future appointments are extra. This is meant to be a stepping stone.  Where I decide to go with it after these initial appointments is entirely up to me.

The first appointment was an in depth question/answer session.  Almost 2 hours of all things Cari (oh my!).  I won't get into the nitty gritty details, there is a thing as too much information.  But I will say that she asks about just about everything you can imagine.  The answers to these questions along with an exam, a reading of my ayurvedic pulse, and a visual observation gave her the tools to prepare my assessment  (which is thoroughly detailed in the second appointment I had last Friday).  I'll get to that in a minute.

I mention the word ayurveda in conversation and more often than not I get a confused look.  Many people do not know what it is.  There is oodles of information on the internet as well as a plethora of books on the subject.  I won't delve too deep into that here, but I do need to give you the basic premise.

The basic rule in ayurvedic healing is that whatever you can do yourself to improve your own health is more effective in the long run than what another person can do for you.  It is in balancing the doshas (primary life forces behind all physiological and psychological function) that the roots of the symptom/s are cut off and you can live in health and harmony.  The fundamental treatment for the doshas is not something clinical done by a practitioner but rather it is the self care you give yourself on a daily basis.  It's really all about balancing current imbalances.

The foundation of ayurvedic treatment is to balance the digestive system.  If you are not digesting food property or are taking in foods that are not healthy for your body, you are unable to form healthy tissues and may be left with toxins in your system.

Ayurveda is made of up of many different components and it's really just a matter of working with your practitioner to see what works best for your lifestyle.  Some of these components are:  diet, herbs, color therapy, yoga/meditation, aromatherapy, and detoxification.  One of my favorite parts is that you aren't expected to jump in head first and change everything at once.  In fact that is discouraged.  Your body needs time to acclimate itself to the changes you are making along the way.  You may remember me saying "baby steps" in previous posts.  Well that is EXACTLY what this is all about.  NOT drastic lifestyle changes but rather more of a self awareness to what your body needs to treat whatever "symptoms" you are experiencing.

Back to the assessment.  Ok, everyone has what is called Prakriti (also known as your constitution).  This is your state of health at birth.  It's the essence of who you are.  It represents the ideal balance of doshas for you to be in a state of health.  As a result of that first visit (questions and exam), Jamie analyzed that my constitution is:  primary dosha is Pitta.  Pitta is primarily composed of the element of fire.  Positive qualities of Pitta are that when in balance Pitta gives a sharp mind, clarity in thought, leadership, bravery and courage.  Secondary is Kapha. Kapha is made up of the earth and water elements.  When balanced Kapha gives you a calm and patient disposition (clearly I'm out of balance because we all know patience is NOT part of my vocabulary), contentment in life, a loving and compassionate nature and a stable, loyal presence.

Clearly if this is all about balance - and being healthy when in balance - it makes sense that I would also need to know which of my doshas are imbalanced (this is called your Vikruti).  Well in my case - all three have something going on (go figure! have to be an "over achiever"!). My primary imbalances are Vata and Pitta.  Vata, which is composed of air and ether which are cold, light, dry and mobile.  According to Jamie, my sinus and allergy problems as well as my neck and shoulder pain are all related to the imbalance in my Vata dosha.  When Pitta increases, fire increases in the body leading to different kinds of inflammation and heat issues.  Being critical and jealous are also a result of this imbalance.  Interesting.    Finally, my Kapha imbalance is also at the root of my chronic sinus congestion (as well as a number of other) issues.

So how does one become imbalanced?  Well just as every human has these life forces, so does everything around us according to ayurvedic teachings.  A great example is our diets.  You can become imbalanced by eating foods that are not complimentary to your constitution.  Your daily lifestyle effects your imbalance ----where you live, what you do for a living etc.  Everything around us has an impact on our life forces.

I know this is a lot to take in.  But it's really very fascinating.  For example - one of the "baby steps" that I have been given is to eat only warm foods for breakfast and to increase the amount of protein.  My typical breakfast is either a bowl of cereal or a bagel with cream cheese.  Cold foods add dryness to the system.  So just by looking at my diet - I've already discovered one way that I'm adding to my Vata imbalance.  I am adding dryness every morning through my diet.

There are a few more things I will be incorporating into my daily routine - again, all very subtle changes.  I just picked up my herbs today.  There are two different capsules I will take every day.  One is comprised of herbs specifically designed for digestion and one is for my mind/nervous system.  Unlike pharmaceuticals, these are comprised of all natural ingredients designed to aid me as I find balance.

What I find most fascinating (as someone who is perpetually starting a new diet) is that it's not just about eating foods that fit into your daily calorie  allotment...it's about eating foods that are promoting balance within your system.  That goes hand in hand that what works for one person may not work for another.

This may sound like a whole lot of mumbo jumbo ----but I'd be lying if I said I'm not excited about it.  It all just makes perfect sense.  I have some very specific health issues that I am working on, we'll see what happens.  And yes, I'll keep you posted along the way!!!!!

livin' in the moment

Ya know what? Oprah is right.  God does whisper to us. Whether or not we choose to listen to the whisper, well that is another story.  Over the last year and a half I have received this message loud and clear:  "live in the moment".

I tell you what, when Beccee got sick that wasn't so much a whisper that I heard but more of a shout.  It was a pivotal point in my life.  When she was diagnosed with lung cancer she didn't curl up in a ball and give up. Oh no. Not at all.  Quite the opposite.  She vowed that she would remain in her happy bubble and come out swingin' against lung cancer.  And she did.  She put up one hell of a fight.  Through her example, she was (and still is) an inspiration to so many people.  This whisper was heard loud and clear....to live each and every moment to the fullest.

Casey was laid off from a job he had been at for over a decade.  We had some serious low points when that happened.  Financially and emotionally.  Through all of it I kept hearing the whisper telling me that we would get through it, that there were others who had conquered much larger obstacles. To take it one day at a time and we would prevail. We did.

One of my friends at work found out earlier this year that her mother has lung cancer.  Her prognosis is that she very likely won't make it to the end of the year.  Talking to my friend and hearing about what her mom is going through is a constant whisper to embrace the time we have with our family.  There is no way of knowing how long we have together.

Another co-worker lost her father suddenly over Memorial Day weekend.  He was on his way up north to go fishing.  He pulled over at a gas station.  He wasn't feeling well and stopped to rest for a few minutes.  He had a massive heart attack and died in his car.  It's hard enough to lose someone after a long illness, incomprehensible when it comes out of the blue like that.  She wasn't able to tell him she loved him or tell him goodbye.  A whisper reminding me that that we shouldn't leave any words unspoken.

The whisper I hear from my own home front is everything can change pretty much overnight.  This is demonstrated to me on a daily basis as a result of my Dad's sickness. The short story is that my Dad has Parkinson's disease.  He was diagnosed about 7 years ago and has been rapidly deteriorating since Christmas.  He now has the onset of dementia.  Having a conversation with him breaks my heart.  There are moments of lucidity, but most moments are just a maze of disconnected words. He now has to have someone that comes in as a companion while his fiancee is at work.  He needs someone to check on him, make sure he's eating, taking his medications, etc.  Soon that may increase to 24/7 supervision being required.  This message is not lost on me.  My days of having a "normal" father/daughter relationship are over.  I have to accept that this is our reality now. I appreciate the days when we are able to connect and he seems to understand me.

The whisper I have heard over and over again over the last year and a half is to live in the moment.  Take one day, one thing at a time.  That is not to say that we shouldn't look forward to the future or learn from our past....it means don't miss what is right in front of your face.  It's all happening, and it's happening now.

What sparks the light in you?

Man o man, that was powerful.  I just finished watching Oprah's last show.  

I love the fact that her last show wasn't all glitz and glamour.  There were no surprises. No free cars given away. None of that.  She used her last show to thank everyone who has been with her throughout the last 25 years.  She also shared what I thought to be some profound words of wisdom.  Because the show left such an impression on me (and because I agree with all that she said), I want to share some of it with all of you.  So this is me paraphrasing tidbits from Oprah's last show:

Everybody has a calling, we need to figure out what that calling is.  Of all of the successful people she had ever interviewed, the joy they received in life was from doing what they were meant/called to do.  A calling lights you up. Live from the heart of yourself.  What sparks the light in you?  Find your calling so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world.

Her platform was a stage in the studio.  We each have a platform.  Don't be fooled into thinking you have to be famous in order reach others.  Find your platform.  Your friends, your family, your co-workers, your circle of friends.  They are all your platform.  That is your stage, your circle of influence.  You are showing people exactly who you are every day. You are letting your life speak for you.  When you do that, you will receive in direct proportion to how much you give.  You have the power to save someone's life. Start embracing the life that is calling you.  Use your life to serve the world.

Nobody but you is responsible for your life.  What is all life? Energy.  We are all transmitting it, and the world responds in kind. try to connect to others and value the connection. 

~take responsibility for the energy that you bring to me~

Newton's third law of motion:  for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  All of the energy you spend trying to hurt someone else will turn around and slap you in the face.  Don't wait for someone else to save you, to fix you, or complete you.

When you "get" that you are responsible for your life, you are free.

We often block our own blessings because we don't feel inherently good enough, smart enough, pretty enough...worthy enough.  You are worthy because you were born, because you are here.  You alone are enough.

A common thread runs through all of us.  We all have the common desire to be validated. Do you see me?  Do you hear me?  Does what I say mean anything to you?  Make sure that those around know that you see them, that you hear them and what they say matters to you.

God is love and God is life.  Your life is always speaking to you. Be still and listen to it.  First in a whisper, if you ignore it it gets louder.  A thump on the head, a brick being thrown at you, and finally a brick wall falling down on you.  When you don't hear it, it gets louder.  What is your life whispering to you?

Thanks for that Oprah.  You've definitely given me a lot to think about. Some soul searching is in order.  What is your calling?  What sparks the light in you?  I'm working on trying to figure that out.   Thoughts?

Catchin' up ...

Admittedly I have been a bit lazy about keeping up with the blog lately.  There has been a lot going on!

The "year of reinvention"  - well let's just say that it's a work in progress.  

So here's where I'm at.  Even though I have set some great goals for this year, I realize that life happens and sometimes things don't work out the way we had planned. I'm trying to go with the flow and do what I can.

The journey to a healthier me---it's going well.  I'm not measuring my progress by a number on a scale but rather in how I feel.  I feel good.  That is what matters.  

Sign language class was a lot of fun.  Unfortunately due to some things going on with my Dad's health/family responsibilities, I needed to drop out early.   I know my friend Cheryl is going to stick with it and go into the next section of the class. I'm super proud of her!  Even though I wasn't able to complete the course, I understand what I was supposed to take away from it.  My instructor Suz was absolutely amazing.  The fact that she can speak perfectly even though she was born deaf was an eye opener for me.  I was witnessing a miracle.  God was showing his presence through my instructor.  Sometimes we need something to be right in our face like that to say hey don't doubt My presence.  Thanks, I needed that.

Even though this wasn't in the original game plan~I have found myself taking music lessons again.  Yep, I am bound and determined to learn the piano.  After seeing Carmen Nickerson sing (Michael and the Bystanders) at the Mold to Gold Benefit, I commented on a post Laura Kiley had put up on her page on Facebook.  Basically just saying how much Mom and I enjoyed listening to her.  This started a conversation which led me to taking lessons with her. I had my first lesson Wednesday and had so much fun.  Carmen is a doll and I am so thrilled that she is my teacher.  Right now I'm rockin' "jingle bells"...hey, ya gotta start someplace right?  It's an amazing feeling to play something and have it sound like the actual song.  My mom is so cute, she's already got a list of artists she wants me to learn...Elton John, Billy Joel, Neil Diamond, etc.  I hope that I will be able to play all of those for her some day!

The biggest thing I've learned so far in my year of reinvention is that life really is too short to sweat the small stuff.  I know that probably sounds cheesey but really think about it.  I keep trying to put things in perspective by asking myself in the big scheme of things, does this really matter/is it such a big deal?  Usually it's not as big of a deal as I first thought it was.  I have said this more than once in the last week - I truly think that everyone (including myself) needs to just take a step back and BREATHE!  

On a side note I've almost had 1000 views of this blog.  That's kind of fun!  Thanks for reading!